Harry Potter Continues!

Attention, Harry Potter fans!  The brand new EIGHTH book of the series is being written as we speak.  Ghost-written by none other than the great Julia Rowe!  While the book is not yet complete, I am fortunately able to provide you with an extended sneak peek of:

Harry Potter and the Frist Year Wich

Take a look onto pg. 1:

Chapter 1: "The Egith Year"
"Harry was siting at the Gryffindor tabel.  Thar was a frist year wich.  Her name was Gabiey Cores.  Harry sade to Hermione, 'Don't you think the frist year gril named Gabiey Cores nos how to do evrything?' 'I don't know."


Desperate for more??  Okay, okay, I'll provide the text to the rest of the chapter:

"Gabiey had red hare and dork brown eyes.  'Oa, hi,' sade Harry.  'This is Hermione this is Ron and I'm Harry.  Harry Potter.'  Gabiey was dilidid.  'Iv olways wontid to meat you Harry,' Gabiey sade in a wihsber.  'Nice to meat you three,' sade Gabiey."

Okay.  Well, we know Harry kind of has a thing for red-heads.  And given Harry's amazing legacy after defeating Voldemort for good at the end of book seven, I'm not surprised that Gabiey is so dilided to meat Harry.

I suppose I can't leave you all dangling there.  Here's more:

Chapter 2: "The Game of Qwidich"
"Harry had just figuerd out that Gabiey got to play Quwidich, plus she got a broomstik.  'But igliest she isin't a secer,' sade Harry to Ron and Hermione.  'Hello you thee,' it was Gabiey.  'Quwidich is fun,' sade Gabiey drimily."

I find it really insightful that Julia's spelling of "at least" is "igliest."  Based on the way she pronounces it, I would have gone for "ack least."  Does that mean that "Acklanta" should really be spelled "Iglanta?"  And what about "ackmired?"  Should it be "igmired?"  Now I'm ALL thrown off.

Okay.  Continuing on with Chapter Two:

"Gabiey Cores,' sade Profeser McGonigel.  'Please just when your fliying just don't put to much presher on yourself.'  'Ohka,' sade Gabiey.  She was vary pleasd with herself.  It was wieyred.  'Hermione,' sade Snape.  'What dose rump and evry flaevrod beans make?'  'Rump bump,' Hermione sade quicle so Gabiey wodind say it.  Ron and Harry including Neavel smield at Hermione."

That's RIGHT.  Go, Hermione!  Don't let that frist year wich beat you to the answer.  Maintain your dominant status as smartest student at Hogwart's.  RUMP BUMP, BABY!


Chapter 3:  "The Spell"
"Gabiey sade a spell to get her food.  It whent like this: 'Food food.  I whant food.  Giv me cholit frogs one and all,' she sade.  Hermione wrokt with Gabiey and Profeer Flitwick to make thinggs go up.  She didin't say 'Limgrodieo levioso' she sade 'Go up' in a lowd voise.  Harry and Ron who were working together biehinde them stopt working for a minot and then whent back to working agen.  The Halloween sesans wore starting.  Gabiey sade to Harry 'I know how to onlok doors.  Onlok!' sade Gabiey and the door was onlok't.  'Wow,' sade Harry.  Gabiey told Ron how to foll in love.  'Foll in love' sade Gabiey.  'Wow' sad Ron.  'Amasing.  That's so good' sade Ron."

So.  If making things happen is as easy as just saying the words, why do all these wizards and witches need to go to school?  Can't they just be like, "Fly!" or "Defeat Voldemort!" or "Turn invisible!" and make it happen??  Good thing they have Gabiey around to show them how it's done.


Chapter 4: "Christmas"
"Wake up Harry,' sade Ron.  'Happy Christmas Ron.'  'Happy Christmas Harry.'  Standing by Ron was Neavel.  'Gabiey's haveing breakfist,' sade Neavel.  'What's that your wareing?' askt Harry.  'Oh, my mom made it,' sade Ron, 'and it looks like youv got one but they say our full names so I dono what they are they just uojoly say R and H."

(Author's note: "Mama?  So, I realized that it's supposed to be their EIGHTH year, and, like I was making it too much like the first book, so I decided to CHANGE it and have their sweaters say their WHOLE names this time, because in the FIRST BOOK, they only say "R" and "H.")

"Neavel and Hermione have one to anyone my mom can think of,' sade Ron.  'Well she cood think of Dracoe but she didin't make one for him."

Yeah.  No love for Draco, even after he and Harry decided to put aside their differences after the Voldemort defeat and all.

Chapter 5: "Gabiey the Wonderro"
"I wandor how meney choclet frogs thar are,' Gabiey sade to Hermione.  'They giv you 5 6 our 7.'  'Oh,' sade Gabiey.  'I wonder how meny evry flaverd beans thar are,' sade Gabiey to Ron.  'P' he said." (Blogger's note: It may be a backwards 9 instead of a "P," or it could potentially be a lop-sided infinity sign.  I can't quite tell what Julia tried to write there.)  'I wonder how much wonds we get,' Gabiey sade to Harry.  'One,' sade Harry.  'Oh' sade Gabiey.  'Of cross,' she sade."

I don't know about you, but I think this book is just starting to get REALLY RIVETING!


Chapter 6: "The 2 Game of Qwidich"
"Harry codint ever guse why Gabiey was so good.  Hermione was woreing that Gabiey was better then her but Hermione was better.  It was time for the 2 game of Quwidich.  'Ow,' sade Gabiey.  'My arm is hart,' sade Gabiey. When no one was looking Gabiey trond into Voldimort.  'Now Iv trick't you all Hogwots.  Evan Dumbeldor and Prfeser McGonigel."

GASP!  That sneaky Gabiey!  That sneaky JULIA ROWE, writing such a wild twist into her story!  And wait - Dumbledore is alive again??

Alas, that's the cliffhanger we readers are left on, as Julia had to go to bed before completing this masterpiece.  More to come tomorrow, I'm sure!

On a final, unrelated note, Madeleine was desperately waiting for Ethan to get home from work tonight, since she had been missing him all day.  She took a peek out the front window to see if she could catch a glimpse of him walking home from the train.

Running to me in delight, she exclaimed: "Mama!  I saw something DRAG ALONG, and I thought it was Daddy, but...it WAS!  Because I saw a DADDY DRAG!"

Daddy Drag.  Interpret as you like.