Sunday, January 23, 2022

How To

We've been watching the HBO show "How To With John Wilson" as a family lately, and the episode we watched this evening was "How to Find a Parking Spot."  After comparing the need to secure an on-street parking spot for one's car to the need to have a burial plot purchased for one's body, John Wilson interviews various funeral home owners.  This takes him to a company called "Cruisin Caskets," which specializes in coffins shaped like cars.

MADELEINE: (referring to the brochure John Wilson picks up) Wait, what does that say?
ME: Car Caskets, I think...it's caskets shaped like cars.
OWNER OF BUSINESS: (on the tv) So this is Cruisin Caskets...
ME: Oh, Cruisin Caskets is what it's called.
MADELEINE: (referring to the car-shaped casket on the screen) Wait, that's SMALL! Oh, it's a MODEL.
ME: No, I think it's real.
MADELEINE: But it's so SMALL!

I began to worry she was afraid it was a child-sized casket and would get upset.  When the Cruisin Caskets owner opened the casket to show the interior, I could see that it clearly was adult-body-sized, so I tried to reassure Madeleine.

ME: I mean, *I* could fit in that...
MADELEINE: Yeah, like, if you were like LAYING DOWN...
ME: That's what you do when you're a dead body in a casket.
MADELEINE: Wait, what?  
ME: These are coffins shaped like cars.
MADELEINE: Ohhhhhhhh!  I thought it was a CAR shop!


Madeleine's impeccable powers of observation and ability to process information never cease to amaze me.

Friday, January 21, 2022

Madeleine Pays Attention

Picking the girls up from swim this evening; Madeleine got to the car first.

ME: Do you and Julia want to do a frozen pizza for dinner tonight?
MADELEINE: Uh, sure!
ME: Okay.  We just have to check with Julia that she's okay with that when she gets in the car.
MADELEINE: Okay!

Five minutes later, Julia enters the car.

ME: Julia, do you want to split a frozen pizza with Madeleine tonight?
JULIA: Sure!
ME: Okay, good.  I have to figure out my dinner.  I have nothing for myself yet.
JULIA: Want me to cook you a dinner?
ME: Uh...
JULIA: I know how to saute peppers, and I can make you a quesadilla...with no cheese...
ME: That sounds DELICIOUS!
JULIA: Well you can't have cheese!
ME: I know.  I'll figure something out.  
JULIA: Well you have to have SOMETHING!
ME: I will, don't worry.  If I need to I can make some eggs or something.

Five minutes later:

MADELEINE: (gasping with urgency) OH!  Julia!  Do you want to have a frozen pizza for dinner tonight?
JULIA: Madeleine, we were JUST discussing this!
MADELEINE: We were?  When?

WOW.  When that kid tunes out, she literally blocks out the world.