Toe Drama

Julia, after spending a bunch of time outside on an unseasonably nice day, came to me with anxiety over the state of her pinky toe.

JULIA: Mommy?  Do you think I have frostbite?  My toe is white, and it feels numb.
ME: (taking a look) I don't think you have frostbite.  It does look white; you probably just need to get your circulation going.
JULIA: (panicked) But what should I do?  Does that mean my toe's gonna fall off??
ME: No. Why don't you just fill the bathtub with some warm water and put your foot in to warm up your toe?
JULIA: Will you come WITH me?  
ME: You need me to sit with you in the bathroom?
JULIA: Yeah, I want you there.

As we headed into the bathroom, Julia became increasingly certain that her toe was going to fall off.

JULIA: Can you DIE from frostbite?
ME: I don't think so.
JULIA: But can't your toe snap off?
ME: It would have to turn, like, black and have SEVERE frostbite for that to happen.
MADELEINE: (helpfully running into the bathroom to give us an update from Google) "Frostbite is an injury caused by freezing of the skin and underlying tissues.  First your skin becomes very cold and red, then numb, hard and pale..."
JULIA: (completely freaking out) MY TOE IS HARD AND PALE! I told you I HAVE FROSTBITE!
ME: Honey. Honey.  Just soak your toe in warm water and you'll get your circulation back.

Upon filling the tub with water, Julia began soaking her toe.  The toe went from white to a purplish color. Julia took the color change with serene tranquility.

JULIA: (in sheer, utter panic) MY TOE IS TURNING BLACK! IT'S PURPLISH BLACK! MY TOE IS GONNA FALL OFF!
ME: Oh my God Julia, it's not-
ETHAN: (who had heard Julia's hysterics through his headphones while he was cooking) WHAT is going on?
ME: Julia thinks her toe looks black and it's gonna fall off from frostbite.
ETHAN: (helpfully) Huh, it does look kinda black.
JULIA: (hysterically unintelligible)
ME: Okay. No. Ethan, tell her that her toe's not gonna fall off.
JULIA: (continuing to be hysterically unintelligible)
ME AND ETHAN: Honey, your toe is not gonna fall off from being outside in 55-60 degree weather for an hour!

Julia was initially inconsolable, but eventually calmed down when I pointed out that her toe had turned from purple to normal flesh-colored. Ethan returned to cooking and I reassured Julia.

ME: See? Now it's back to normal.
JULIA: (a bit sheepishly) It's not numb anymore.
ME: Okay, so why don't you drain the tub now and get some warm socks on?
JULIA: Okay. (Inexplicably turning the shower setting on in the still running tub instead of unplugging the drain and turning the water off)
ME: No, that's the show-
JULIA: (getting fully sprayed by a full shower stream in her clothes and standing there helplessly) AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
ETHAN: (running back into the bathroom from the kitchen) NOW WHAT IS GOING ON?!?
ME: TURN THE SHOWER OFF JULIA!
JULIA: (frantically scrambling to shut the water off)

Oh my God.  Can you tell we're all a little anxious over here about the rising coronavirus cases and we're becoming a little too easily unhinged?  Deep breaths.  Julia has not, in fact, lost her toe, and is back to having other irrational fears like thinking she has spit cancer because she's blowing too much spit into her flute when she practices.  It's all good.  We're all fine over here!  Nothing to stare at folks!

Is That a Swear?

After Ethan and Madeleine spent hours on the weekend raking the leaves in our backyard, our town had the most colossal leaf dump I've ever seen in a 24 hour period.  Every yard and even some streets were covered in a massive blanket of oak leaves.  It happened to be the day before Veterans Day that this leaf-fall occurred, so Madeleine discovered our oaken lawn on the no-school day following.

MADELEINE: (peering out the back door to the lawn) Jesus Christ, didn't we JUST rake all those leaves?
ETHAN: I know it.  (pausing for a moment) Did you just say "Jesus Christ?"
MADELEINE: Yeah.  Why? (dread slowly coming over her face) Is that a swear?
ME: Well, it's considered sort of a swear when you use it like that, because you're "taking the Lord's name
in vain."
MADELEINE: (standing in silence with an increasing look of angst and embarrassment on her face)
ME: It's okay, honey.
MADELEINE: (in utter despair) No it's NOT!
ETHAN: You didn't know.
ME: And even if you did, it's not the end of the world.  
MADELEINE: I'm BAD!

Despite our protests to the contrary, Madeleine was driven by shame and humiliation to her bedroom, wherein she hid under her blanket to punish herself for her unforgivable crimes.  I attempted to talk her down and finally got her to come out of her room and eat snack, but unfortunately she decided to join the table as Cousin It from the Addams Family:

Madeleine was the only one who found the situation appalling.  Ethan and I helpfully couldn't stop breaking into laughter over the fact that the child who "mreer!"s over words like "fool" and "dumb" outright exclaimed "Jesus Christ!" over the backyard leaves.  

Cousin It remained with us for quite awhile, but I'm pleased to report that Madeleine has completed her self-inflicted penance and has deemed herself henceforth acceptable to return to society.

Falling Things

MADELEINE: (excitedly) I'm gonna have LETTER crackers! (reaching for the container of letter crackers and somehow knocking it off the counter.)  
JULIA: Pick it up! Hurry!
MADELEINE: (standing in shock, looking at the brand-new, now empty container on the ground and the kitchen floor strewn with letter crackers everywhere.)

And because there's not germs EVERYWHERE right now, I wisely recommended Madeleine just pick up all the crackers and put them back in the container and proceed to eat them.  Let's not waste a brand new, full container of snacks, girls.

Later on, Julia and I were recording a flute duet we've been working on, and we had our own falling object to distract us.  Watch the video closely, and you will see the piano lamp in the background suddenly fall off the piano, as if a phantom had just knocked into it.

So, we're eating dirty kitchen floor letter crackers and ignoring the hijinks of our very own Phantom of the Opera over here, just like any normal old day.

Renaissance

JULIA: I feel like it would either be really cool or really terrifying to see life in the Renaissance.
ME: Probably both.
JULIA: Yeah. 'Cause there'd be, like, armor, and...
ME: And plague...
JULIA: Yeah, and plague, but there would also be CASTLES.
ME: Right.
JULIA: Were there REALLY jokers?
ME: ...You mean jesters?
JULIA: Oh!  Yeah.  Were there really jesters?
ME: Yeah, I think so, I think they were a part of the King's court.

                                                                                Joker

Discussing Trump

 Discussing Trump, in which Madeleine is totally with the program.

JULIA: Isn't Donald Trump's last name really Drumpf?
ETHAN: Yes.  Drumpf is German.
JULIA: (mock gasp) He's German?  He's not even AMERICAN!
ME: Well, his Dad was from Germany, for real.  But Trump was born here.
ETHAN: And even if he was born in Germany, if you get citizenship, you're a real American.
JULIA: I know, I was-
ME: I know.  You were saying that because Trump is so anti-immigrant.  
JULIA: Right.
ME: I think European immigrants are okay by him.  He just doesn't want immigrants from Mexico. After all, his wife is Eastern European.
ETHAN: She got her citizenship suspiciously fast, though.
ME: She got a "genius grant." For her modeling. 
JULIA: She's not even pretty, though.  She looks like a CAT.
MADELEINE: (who has been sitting around the table with us this WHOLE TIME) Who looks like a cat?
JULIA: Melania Trump.
MADELEINE: Oh!  I thought you were talking about ELSA.

Yes, that's right.  This whole time we were not talking about the #1 pressing subject on our minds (for once, the election has slightly edged out the usual #1 subject of COVID-19), but about the characters from "Frozen."

BLM Article

 MADELEINE: (showing me an online headline over a photo of two people) Mommy!  This couple lived in a town called "Trump Country," and they got EVICTED from their apartment because they had a "Black Lives Matter" sign.  Isn't that TERRIBLE?

Well, you know how it is in the town of Trump Country.  

I explained to her what the term "Trump Country" means, which gave her more clarity on the whole story.  I guess at first she just thought: a) it's weird that Trump already has a town named after him after only 4 years as President, and b) How ironic that the town of "Trump Country" turned out to be as racist as Trump himself!