And Yet MORE Poop Talk

I'm not sure which child's poop ritual I dread more each day.  Julia is virtually completely self-sufficient in terms of wiping, washing her hands, pulling her underwear back on, and what not.  On the other hand, I basically need to be stationed beside the closed bathroom door so that I can shout back answers to her multitude of hollered questions, comments and anecdotes while she sits on the pot.  Madeleine is capable of self-entertainment while on the potty, leaving me the freedom to roam around the house until she's ready to be wiped.  However, Madeleine's whole pooping on the potty routine is so long and involved that I have a lot more hands-on responsibility than I do with Julia.  Madeleine requires a specific set of conditions before she's able to start the pooping process.  First, she must take off all her clothes (still.)  Then she needs the bathroom fan on and the door closed.  But she also needs two toys to play with while she sits on the potty, and sometimes she brings these toys along with her, but a lot of times she shouts to me through the door the very specific toys she wants (it differs by week; lately it has been her Snow White figurine and her black horsey).  After I've delivered the toys, I have a little bit of free time, until she calls through the door: "I'm DUUUUUUUN!"  If I'm not fast enough to get to the bathroom, she often scoots off the seat herself, frequently leaving a nice smear of poop all along the toilet seat and lip.  Then there's the washing hands.  She needs the water to be "slow," meaning a very soft stream.  If the volume of water is too great, she refuses to wash her hands because it's too "fast."  At least she understands that it's different strokes for different folks.  As she told me yesterday while washing her hands, "Mommy, I just need it to be SLOW.  I don't like it fast.  But...YOU like fast, but I just only like SLOW."

The best is when Madeleine needs to poop in the middle of a family meal.  Then I get to wait with pleasant anticipation for the point at which I'll be interrupted from eating to wipe her bum (and possible toilet smears.)  Tonight in the middle of dinner was one such occasion.  And not only that, but she was a real pain in the patoots about her toy preference.  She had carried a little cardboard card from her Dora "Memory" game in with her, but, as mentioned above, she always needs TWO toys.

ME: (heading out of the bathroom) Okay, just call me when you're done.
MADELEINE: Wait!  Mommy!  Can you bring me a TOY?
ME: Okay...uh...(looking around for what was directly in my line of sight/reach) How about Ariel and Rainbow Dash?
MADELEINE: No, NOT Rainbow Dash!
ME: Okay.  Just Ariel?
MADELEINE: Yes!

So I brought her Ariel and went back to the table to resume eating.  No sooner had I sat down than...

MADELEINE: Uh, Mommy?  I don't want THIS one!
ME: You don't want this what?
MADELEINE: I don't want THIS one!
ME: What's this one?
MADELEINE: THIS one!
ME: You mean Ariel?
MADELEINE: No, THIS one!

Back into the bathroom I went, to discover she had tossed the Memory card onto the floor in complete rejection.  I went back to the dining room to find another toy and brought her a finger puppet queen.

ME: Here, do you want the queen?
MADELEINE: Uh...YES!  But...Mommy, she's a BOY.
JULIA: Madeleine, she's NOT a boy!  She's a GIRL!
ME: Yeah, she's a girl, Madeleine.  She's wearing a dress!
JULIA: Well, boys can wear dresses too.  If they want to.  Our dad doesn't really like to, though.

I must admit I was proud of her open-mindedness on gender roles.  At least I'm doing *something* right in the way I'm raising these kids...

Or at least with Julia.  Madeleine still doesn't seem to get the difference between boys and girls, it seems.  As I went into the bathroom to check on her progress, she announced to me:  "Mommy?  You look like a BUSY GUY, because...you're a BOY!"

I don't know why she's so intent on me being a boy lately.  Maybe I'm looking extra masculine or something.

And to move the topic away from pooping, the girls have taken a break from their incessant "Lorax" viewing to re-watch "McKenna Shoots For the Stars."  Of course, with each watching of this American Girl movie, they must both change into leotards and perform their at-home moves in the living room while they stare at the screen.  Thank goodness our new downstairs neighbor isn't home in the afternoons, because Madeleine thumps her tank of a body around with all the grace of an elephant.  Watch and enjoy!: