Dinner Time Follies

A Synopsis of Dinner this Evening:

6:10pm: All is off to a good start. Both kids are eating the dinner I cooked, despite its being a repeat of the completely rejected dinner I made a few weeks ago. Ethan had taken the girls out in the backyard before dinner so they were in cheerful moods and had worked up an appetite.

6:12pm: Madeleine picks up an entire fistful of pasta and stuffs it in her mouth, ignoring my frantic, blurted command to eat "ONE AT A TIME!" Madeleine then opens her mouth to speak, exposing nothing but a mass of pasta, which begins spilling out of her mouth onto the table, eliciting an eruption of uncontrollable giggles from Julia. Madeleine then picks up another fistful, stopping after Ethan and I simultaneously shout: "NO, NO, NO!"

6:15pm: Julia begins dipping each piece of pasta into her cup of water. I ask her to please stop. Madeleine exclaims, "Yeah, let's dip our pasta in the WATER!" and makes for Julia's cup. Ethan and I again shout, "NO!" Julia and Madeleine are giggling. Julia decides to milk the moment by grabbing a fistful of her own pasta and trying to stuff it in her mouth. I put an end to that right away. Julia then, suppressing giggles, leans down to eat off her plate directly with her mouth. "JULIA!" Ethan chastises her. Madeleine then leans down and begins eating off of her plate directly with her mouth. Ethan and I shout for it to stop. The girls are in hysterics.

6:18pm: Madeleine begins playing with Candy Corn and making him dance around on the spout of her sippy cup. I ask her to eat her dinner. "No," she responds. "I'm just still makin' him CLIMB THE TOWER." Ethan and I exchange looks and fight the urge to laugh. Madeleine's pretend game gets more elaborate. "I'm LOOKIN' OUT for that SHARK!" Candy Corn yells. Madeleine looks up at Ethan and I to make sure we're listening. "Yeah, that's right, I said SHARK," she tells us with a look of dead seriousness. Julia bursts into giggles, as do Ethan and I. Madeleine decides to ham it up even more. "THAT SHARKY SHARK IS COMIN!" she growl-screams. Julia begins flapping her hand towards Madeleine, growl-screaming, "I'M THE SHARK!" We reprimand them and the shark game comes to an end. Madeleine begins goofing around with Candy Corn once again and Ethan takes him away.

6:20pm: Julia begins telling knock-knock jokes, causing Madeleine to crack up over each ridiculous, nonsensical punchline. Madeleine begins telling knock-knock jokes, causing herself and her sister to giggle uncontrollably. I begin video-taping their inanity:




6:28pm: Julia finishes her dinner and asks for dessert while Ethan is eating bread. Madeleine begins asking for bread and a chocolate cookie, but Ethan reminds her she has hardly eaten her dinner. She stuffs nearly every piece of sausage into her mouth at once, finishes eating, and is finally privy to dessert.

Siiiiiigh. Is it bedtime yet???