Beware the Green Bagel

Madeleine decided to entirely skip her nap yesterday afternoon, despite us putting her in her crib for two hours in the hopes that she'd eventually quit her yapping and fall asleep. My usual ability to snuggle her to sleep proved a failure as well; she was way too busy doing things like sticking Cowie between her toes and exclaiming, "Oh no! She's stuck in the WATERFALL!" and pushing my snuggling arms away, commanding "Stop touchin' me!" to get drowsy. She made it through the rest of the day without problem, and we thought we had the perfect solution to the non-nap when we put her to bed a half hour early and she fell right asleep.

Now, before I can continue the sleep saga, I must back up for a minute and post Ethan's facebook status from yesterday, regarding the St. Paddy's Day bagel we bought, as well as a comment he received from our friend Charlie:

Ethan Rowe
Julia, the creature of routine, regarded the green bagel with skepticism, and preferred to stick with her usual chocolate chip. Madeleine, on the other hand, wanted nothing more than to try that green bagel.

Charles Thomas We had a green bagel last week at some point. Cooper was very excited and ate the whole thing. Any guesses what happened to him the next day? (hint: the answer will probably be characterized as TMI.)

Ethan and I chuckled over the comment, not thinking much of it, and not expecting that by evening, Madeleine would suffer much the same fate as had Cooper. After a very big green explosion last night as she sat on the potty, Madeleine seemed chipper and unperturbed by her tummy. Unfortunately, the green bagel continued its assault in the middle of the night, leaving us all awfully sleep deprived. Waking up twice in close succession and crying out from her crib, Madeleine was obviously uncomfortable, but not fully awake enough to vocalize her concerns. The third wake-up was the charm, and as Ethan and I both attempted to comfort her wails, she suddenly blurted out, through her binky, "I need to go POTTY!"

As she sat on the potty making explosive gaseous sounds, she smiled cheerfully at Ethan and I, exclaiming, "Sorry! I forgot." She doesn't seem to understand that only sound-effect explosive gaseous sounds which spew spittle all over people near her and cause uproarious laughter from her sister are cause for apology. The real thing, especially when done over the toilet, is perfectly acceptable. Nevertheless, with each eruptive squirt, she felt the need to happily cry out, "Sorry! I forgot!"

This morning, all the Rowes save Julia were exhausted as we headed off to church, although Madeleine held up incredibly well during the service and Sunday school. She wasn't up to her usual impish behavior, so I suppose there's something to be said for sleep deprivation. After the service, she started to fall apart, however. Along with her slew of other recent irrational fears (such as her room, the vacuum, and the lousy train), she is suddenly petrified of using any other toilet than our own. She will stubbornly hold her pee for the entire time that we're at someone else's house, and today at church was no exception. I performed my usual duty of putting her on the toilet before bringing her to Sunday school, to which she frantically threw her arms around my neck and clambered off the toilet, shrieking, "No PEE-PEES!" At the end of the service, when it had officially been three hours since she had last used the potty, I again brought her to the bathroom, which was quite a feat, considering that I was carrying the pile of crafts both girls did at Sunday School, two pieces of Holy Bread, and three carnations that had been handed out by the priest at the end of the service. The girls decided to help me by each holding a flower, and as I attempted to get Madeleine on the potty one-armed, she repeatedly lashed her white flower out at me as if performing a spell with a magic wand, yelling "NO! I! DON'T NEED! TO! GO! PEE! PEES!"

It wasn't long before the white carnation snapped right off its stem. Which, of course, led to broken-hearted tears. I used that moment to my advantage and stuck her on the toilet, upon which she continued to yell about not needing to go even as a flood of urine streamed into the bowl. To console her afterwards, I let her have my carnation, which was red. How quickly the broken white carnation was forgotten.

When we got into the car, I decided to treat the girls by opening their windows, which is just about their favorite thing to experience while in the car. Any time the window is open, Madeleine loves to stick her right hand out the window and feel the breeze as we drive. Unfortunately, she was inhibited by the fact that today she happened to be holding a carnation in her right hand. Woebegone by her conundrum, she burst into tears, and wailed, as she reached her left hand towards the window, "Mom! I need help to get this hand to go over there!"

Luckily, I had a brilliant solution. "Put the flower in your other hand, Madeleine. Then you can reach out the window." I had to literally talk her through each step of transferring her carnation from right hand to left so that she could then put her right hand out the window. Phew. Crisis averted.

Julia was so excited about her carnation, especially upon learning that it was a real, live flower, that during our car ride home she became intent on picking out which vase to put it in when we got home. And once she gets something on the brain, there is no way she'll forget about it, so as we pulled to a stop in our driveway, she darted out of the car, yelling, "Remember, Mama! I'm going to pick out the vase myself!"

She couldn't have picked a more appropriate vase. It looks kind of like the enchanted rose from "Beauty and the Beast":



Madeleine, on the other hand, was less interested in putting her flower in a vase and more interested in relaying the whole flower saga to Daddy as soon as she saw him. "Daddy, my white flower just BROKED, and I was just still terrified and I broke my flower, and so Mommy gave me her RED flower."

Best of all, she fell right asleep for her nap this afternoon, so I think, barring any more explosive green diarrhea attacks, we are headed in the right direction.