A Day in Madeleine's Life

Some of you have heard the story of Julia's first introduction to the idea of boy parts and girl parts - and the difference thereof - a few years back. In a nutshell, Julia had asked Ethan, as she stared at him in his boxers when he had first woken up in the morning, "Daddy, why is your vagina sticking out of your shorts like that?"

Undoubtedly, with every child, there is going to be that somewhat-awkward-for-the-parent moment when the child discovers that Mommy or Daddy has different equipment than the child him/herself. That lucky moment happened for Ethan and Madeleine this morning. I had just carried her down from her crib and was bringing her to the potty, just at the moment that Ethan was stepping out of the shower to towel off. Though he had wrapped the towel around his waist by this point, Madeleine was still very much interested in what she had just seen.

"Daddy?" she asked him, hopping off the potty and walking towards him with her finger pointing out. "What's that? What's that thing on your bum?"

After a quick anatomy lesson, Madeleine had newfound knowledge that a) the place she was pointing to was not a bum, and b) the thing that was on the area formerly referred to as a bum was in fact a penis.

"Mommy? Can I see your GINUS?" she asked me, walking back towards me.
"Do you mean my vagina? It's called a vagina. I don't have a penis," I told her.
"Mommy? Can I see your GENUS?"
"I have a vagina, Madeleine, just like you."
"Yeah. I just have a bagina. Kids don't have a penis. Mommies just have a penis."

Despite all the confusion this morning, today was certainly not the first time we have discussed this issue. Madeleine has never before been confused over the fact that both she and I have a vagina, but I guess there's a first for everything.

Later in the morning, Madeleine and I headed to her Creative Movement class, and because it was the first day of the Spring Session, the staff and class members were a little different. Madeleine wasted no time making an impression on everyone, however. Right as the teacher was about to start the music for the opening song, I did a quick wipe of Madeleine's nose. In the split second of silence before the "Good Morning" song began, Madeleine felt the need to announce to the circle full of kids and parents, "I just BLOWED my NOSE."

She also decided it was time for her favorite game: asking the same question over and over despite the fact that she actually knows the answer. For example:

TEACHER: Hi guys! I'm Lily!
MADELEINE: Where's LILY?
ME: She's right there, honey.
MADELEINE: Mommy? Where's LILY?
LILY: I'm right here! I'm teaching your class today!
MADELEINE: Mommy? Where's LILY?
LILY AND MOMMY: Right here.
MADELEINE: But Mommy? Where's LILY?
LILY: And let's say hello to our other friends! Hi, Charlie.
MADELEINE: Mommy? Where's CHARLIE?
ME: He's right there, honey. You know Charlie.
MADELEINE: Where's CHARLIE?
ME: Charlie's right there. Say "hi, Charlie!"
MADELEINE: Mommy? Where's LILY?

In case her circle time behavior convinced all the other class members and parents that she's a total dunce, Madeleine was quick to prove them all wrong when it was time to demonstrate the obstacle course. After Lily walked through all the steps of the various obstacles she had laid out and parents groaned that it would be way too complicated for their children, Madeleine broke forth to tackle the course all by herself, following every instruction Lily had given to a T, executing such feats as hopping over and clearing obstacles, performing a forward roll down an incline, and hanging from the high bar with her arms and touching her toes to the bar. So, even though she apparently doesn't know who Lily is, she was certainly able to follow Lily's instructions.

To finish off the class, Lily hung pictures of various animals around the room, and using a CD track of sound effects, played one animal sound at a time. After the kids identified the particular animal they heard, they would have to run around the room to find the picture that represented said animal. Madeleine wanted to make sure Lily was 100% clear on which animal sound she was playing. Each time a sound would ring out, Madeleine would run to Lily and grasp Lily's shirt in both her hands. Earnestly looking Lily closely in the eyes, Madeleine would shout out the animal ("A HOOOOOORSE!") and then follow with a reassuring pat directly across Lily's bosom.

Every time.

On our walk home, Madeleine spotted a school van, with the "School Bus" sign atop its roof. "Mommy?" she asked me, "What's that on his HEAD?"

Just in case you haven't received enough proof of Madeleine's inherent weirdness, I will leave you with the following series of pictures: