Morning Madness

Julia is usually pretty good about getting herself ready for school in a timely fashion; in fact, she's often raring to go before I'm quite ready myself.  However, she is not immune to the occasional morning-in-space, in which she's too busy thinking about things and spewing verbal diarrhea to focus on the task at hand.  Today was one such morning. 

ME: Okay, Julia, let me do your hair, and then we've gotta get ready to go.
JULIA: (staring off dreamily as I finish her hairstyle) Mom?  You know what I think is WEIRD?  Like, when you turn EIGHTEEN you're officially an ADULT, but, like...you don't SEEM like you're really an adult yet.
ME: Well, becoming an official adult basically just means that you can make decisions for yourself without your parents, you can live on your own, you can vote for president-
JULIA: Wait, Mom.  If you can live on your own once you're EIGHTEEN, then how come BARBIE is only SEVENTEEN but she's the adult in charge of her house?
ME: Well, probably because she's a doll.  Can you get your socks and shoes?
JULIA: Because in the movies she says she's SEVENTEEN, and, like, she's in CHARGE of her sisters and stuff.

Julia then took off galloping to the living room, where she stood frozen in front of the television set, staring at the "Strawberry Shortcake" episode that was on.

ME: Julia, can you get your socks and shoes?
JULIA: (blankly staring at the screen)
ME: Jules.  Can you get your socks?  Where are you socks?  Did you bring them down?
JULIA: I need to go GET some from my room.
ME: Okay, go.  Hurry.  We need to get to school.
JULIA: (dashing off to her room and returning with socks)
ME: Okay, get your socks and shoes on.
JULIA: (holding her socks and standing in the middle of the kitchen) Mom?  I still remember that trip to Atlanta when Auntie Shannon made that LITTLE BED for us, and I drank from that blue water bottle.
ME: Honey, get your socks and shoes on.  Hurry!
JULIA: (slowly putting her socks on while staring off in the distance) Mom?  Did you know that the other day Sydni wore TWO different shoes because she didn't know which one matched her outfit better?
ME: Oh, wow.  Come on, honey, get your shoes on.
JULIA: Yeah, she had on ONE pink shoe and one PURPLE shoe.
ME: Jules.  Come on.  Sneakers.
JULIA: (slowly fishing around in the shoe bin for her sneakers)
ME: Julia, honey, we're going to be late to school.  You really need to hurry.
JULIA: I'm SORRY!  (breaking into song) I'm sa-sa-sa-SORRY, I'm da-da-da-DORRY!  I'm ca-ca-ca-CORRY!

When we finally got out the door, Julia made up for lost time by doing her usual speed-skipping WAAAAY ahead of me all the way to school.  At least I don't have to worry about her slow-poking it to get there.

Next up was getting Madeleine to school, and this is the sort of adversity I had in store for me:

ME: Okay, Madeleine, let's get your shoes.  It's time for school.
MADELEINE: Mama, can you do this?  (crab-walking backwards while making snuffing sounds) CLOSING your eyes, SNIFFING.  So can you do it?  Closing your eyes, CRAB-WALKING backwards, sniffing.

It's a wonder I get these kids anywhere on time.