Fathers Day FAIL

The kids both made Fathers Day gifts for Ethan at school this week, but I thought it might be fun for me to help them with a home-made card detailing what's so special about their dad.  I tried it out with Madeleine today, sitting down with her to capture her words about what she loves about her daddy.  It went REALLY well.

ME: Okay, Madeleine, tell me.  What are some special things you do with Daddy?
MADELEINE: Uh...making...presents.
ME: Um.  Hmm.  What kind of presents?
MADELEINE: Uh, presents for me to OPEN on my BIRTHDAY!
ME: Um, okay.  What else do you like to do with Daddy?
MADELEINE: Uh...CLEAN!
ME: (looking at her dubiously) Clean?!?
MADELEINE: Uh, yeah...because...I'm a little HELPER GIRL!

What she is is a little liar pants on fire.  Our kids STINK at cleaning.  They really do.  And when they actually do cooperate enough to put a few things away, they complain about it the WHOLE TIME.

ME: Okay.  How about fun things you play with Daddy?
MADELEINE: Uh...playing BLOCKS!

Okay...they do on occasion build block towers together.  Hopeful that we were finally getting somewhere, I optimistically forged on.

ME: Okay.  What else do you like to play?
MADELEINE: Uh...playing COMPUTERS!

Nope.

ME: (sighing) Okay.  Let's think.  What else do you like to do with Daddy?
MADELEINE: Singing!
ME: What kinds of songs do you sing?
MADELEINE: Uh.  ABC?

Said by the child of the man who is famous for singing her tunes from the Beatles, Paul Simon, the soundtrack to "O Brother Where Art Thou?" and what not.

ME: Well...tell me some special songs that you like Daddy to sing to you.
MADELEINE: Okay!  I'll TELL you one!  (breaking into song) Five little laaaps...

OMG.  Seriously with the Five Little Laps again?

Perhaps if I phrased the question in a slightly different way.

ME: What's something that's so great about Daddy?
MADELEINE: Um...PLAYING.
ME: Playing what?
MADELEINE: Playing KICKBALL.

Okay, okay.  We do occasionally play kickball as a family in the backyard.  Madeleine wanders in and out of the game at her whim, but at least this answer has some small bit of truth to it.

ME: And what else is so great about Daddy?
MADELEINE: (breaking into a radiant smile) PEEING!

Good Lord.

ME: Can you tell me more about why Daddy is special?
MADELEINE: Um...writing LETTERS.
ME: What?  What kind of letters?
MADELEINE: Um...the ones that spell "NO."

So, yeah.  We didn't wind up making a card.  Sorry, Ethan.

Maybe Madeleine was unable to adequately answer any questions because she was too busy planning out her stylish afternoon fashions.  Here are some of her ground-breaking looks:

With all the forethought that must have gone into these stylish choices, it's no wonder that the best thing she could think to say about Ethan has to do with peeing and writing the letters that spell "no."