Madeleine's Questions

As many blog-readers know, Madeleine is one to speak her mind freely, to the point of being completely tactless at times.  There are so many occasions on which I've been mortified after Madeleine asked a virtual stranger something completely inappropriate. 

Some examples:

-the time she asked an overweight woman "why do you have such a big tummy?"
-the time she asked an African American woman "why do you have such big lips?"
-the time she asked a shirtless elderly man at the beach "why do you have such mushy, mushy breastes?"


Other times, she'll ask a question directly of me, but in close earshot of the person about whom she is talking.  Like last week, when Madeleine asked me, as our purchase was being rung up by a particularly pumpkin-headed cashier, "Mama?  Why does he have such a BIG HEAD?"


So, you can imagine my panic today when we were checking out at a different store and our cashier was a little person.  I stood in line feverishly willing Madeleine not to ask any inappropriate questions about the size of our cashier. 

Fortunately, Madeleine decided instead to start a line of questioning that was disturbing in a completely other manner.

MADELEINE: Mama?  Is Halloween gonna be forever?
ME: (realizing my credit card swipe hadn't gone through) Uh...
MADELEINE: Mama.  Is Halloween gonna be forever?
CASHIER: Try swiping again.
MADELEINE: Mama?  Is Halloween gonna be forever?
ME: Um...hang on.  Did that work?
CASHIER: Swipe it the other way.
MADELEINE: Mama?  Is Halloween gonna be forever?
ME: Uh...no.
MADELEINE: No!?
ME: Um...what do you mean?
MADELEINE: Like, is Halloween always gonna keep coming back for forever?
ME: Oh.  Yes.  Every year it will be Halloween again.

At this point, my card had been accepted, and the cashier was handing me my bags, and during a lull in our pleasantries, Madeleine burst out with a serious existential question.

MADELEINE: Mama?  Who's gonna be the last person to DIE?
ME: Uh...(smiling brightly at the cashier) Thank you!  (ushering Madeleine out of the Staples) I don't know.
MADELEINE: But who's gonna be the last person to die?
ME: I don't know honey.  Maybe life will go on forever and ever in some form.
MADELEINE: But Mama?  Can a person even BE one hundred?
ME: Yes, people can live to be one hundred.
MADELEINE: Wow!  I never even SAW a person that's one hundred.
ME: Well, Grammy was 99, and that's ALMOST one hundred.  And Gramps' uncle lived to be one hundred, and Gramps went to his 100th birthday party.
MADELEINE: (thoughtful) Well Mama.  Don't you KNOW that I already know 99 is almost one hundred?  Because Mama. I can COUNT to one hundred.

I guess this line of questioning got Madeleine in a contemplative mood about the nature of life and death, because when we got home from the store she decided to draw God, from both the front AND the back:

God

 God's bum


As I said at the opening of this post, I can always count on Madeleine to make things as tactless and inappropriate as possible!