Many Madeleine Projects

Madeleine is clearly filled with the spirit of charity during this Lent.  I woke up this morning to find the blueprints for her latest business plan:

Sihn up to help the poor!
Band to raise money for the poor!


So far, both Madeleine and Julia are on board.  Is this going to be a flute/piano ensemble?  Or perhaps Madeleine will be the lead singer?  I can't wait to hear one of their numbers!



It's hard to believe that the girl who is ambitiously planning to raise money to help the poor is the same kid who drew this picture of Bat Girl seemingly taking an ax to the head:

Yikes.  Gory.


In other Madeleine business plans, today she decided she wanted to make her own Kidz Bop video.  "Now, hasn't she done that already?"  you may be thinking.  Let me clarify: while Madeleine has indeed made up her own Kidz Bop SONGS and dances on video, this time she wanted to do exactly as the Kidz Bop performers do: put dance moves to an already popular song.  She opted for a Katy Perry tune, and went to town with her dance routine:





Unfortunately, Madeleine is dissatisfied with the outcome of her first video attempt, and really wants a re-do.

MADELEINE: Mommy?  Can you make a NEW video of me dancing?
ME: Why?  You already did one.
MADELEINE: Because.  Mommy.  It's not a REALISTIC Kidz Bop video.
ME: Why not?
MADELEINE: Because.  First of all, in Kidz Bop videos, there's not a MOM in the video the WHOLE TIME, like, WATCHING the kids dance.
ME: We can probably crop me out of the video if you really want.
MADELEINE: But Mommy.  Also.  In Kidz Bop videos they don't fall and crash into things.
ME: Hmm.  But that makes your video more interesting!
MADELEINE: No.  Mommy.  I want it to be a REAL Kidz Bop video that gets famous.  It can't get famous if I wipe out!
ME: Well, you can't really promote it as a Kidz Bop video, because you'd have to actually be part of the Kidz Bop company to make their videos.
MADELEINE: But Mommy!  The Kidz Bop people are TEENAGERS!  By the time I'm a teenager, they'll be DEAD!
ME: Madeleine.  Will *I* be dead by the time you're a teenager?
MADELEINE: (deep in thought) Will you?
ME: I hope not!
MADELEINE: Okay, well, they won't be DEAD, but they'll be OLD LADIES!
ME: Madeleine.  You'll be a teenager in six years.  I'll be 44 by then. That's not an old lady age.  If I'm not an old lady in six years, then the teenagers DEFINITELY won't be old ladies.

Somehow, my argument was not convincing enough, and she's holding fast to her desire to make a new video.  I'll be sure to stay out of sight in the next one, although I can't really control Madeleine's propensity for wiping out.  Stay tuned for more Madeleine dancing adventures!

Madeleine's Dream World

Madeleine's dream life:

MADELEINE: You know what I wish?  I wish I could have this mansion where, like, me and my FRIENDS all live-
ME: What about me?
MADELEINE: Well, of COURSE my family could come over to visit, and like, me and my friends could, like, do ALL the things we wanna do and not have to, like follow the RULES.  And we would have pizza for dinner at night, and MEATBALLS, like, pasta with meatballs and pasta with meat sauce, and Daddy would serve it to me and my friends in this, like GOOFY way, like goofing around the whole time.


Wait.  I'm only invited to visit but Ethan is the resident chef?  What, because he's goofy, he gets an in?!?


Today Madeleine modified her view on family as visitors.

MADELEINE: Well, my family can live there too, like...everyone I love can live there, and all my friends.  So Mommy?  It's basically like a HOTEL with no other visitors.  And in the morning we'll have PANCAKES because pancakes are AWESOME.


So, let me get this straight.  What Madeleine basically wants is her own permanent version of Spring Break, college style.  No rules!  Jam-packed with friends!  Adult figures are goofy, not strict!  The kind of food you can get at an all-night pizzaria!  PANCAAAAAKES.

I'm kind of scared for what happens when Madeleine goes off to college.

Adventures in Sleepwalking

Last night, around 10pm, the door to our bedroom opened up and in the door frame stood a very cranky looking Julia.

ME: What's up, honey?
JULIA: I can't play with my American Girl dolls EVER AGAIN!
ME: What?  Why not?
JULIA: Because I can't find my EASTER BASKET.
ME: What Easter basket?
JULIA: My American Girl Easter basket.
ME: You mean an American Girl thing you got last Easter?
JULIA: No, my American Girl EASTER BASKET.
ME: What American Girl Easter basket?  Do you have an American Girl Easter basket?
JULIA: I *made* one.
ME: You did?  When did you make it?  Today?
JULIA: A long TIME ago.
ME: Okay.  Well, don't worry about that right now, just get back to bed.
JULIA: But I can't FIND it and I've been looking EVERYWHERE!
ME: When were you looking for it?
JULIA: Like, five minutes ago!
ME: Honey, you've been asleep for hours.
JULIA: (confused)
ETHAN: She's sleep-walking.
JULIA: (indignant) No, I'm NOT!
ME: Honey, let's get you back to bed.  (walking her back into her room, wherein she got into bed and immediately fell asleep.)


This morning, I recounted the incident to Julia.

ME: Do you remember coming into my bedroom to tell me you couldn't find your American Girl Easter basket?
JULIA: Yes...well, I remember that I was in your room.  I don't remember looking for an Easter basket.
ME: Do you even really have an American Girl Easter basket?
JULIA: (giggling) No!!


That must have been some dream she had before sleepwalking into our bedroom.  She was adamant about that non-existent Easter basket that she didn't really make.

P.E. Peek Week

Yesterday, Ethan and I got to attend Peek Week for Madeleine's P.E. class at school.  The 1st graders have been doing a unit on gymnastics over the past month, and the unit ends with an individual performance by each child, with parents invited.  Madeleine's routine was complete with cartwheels, stops to tuck her shirt into her pants and fix her ponytail, and lots of unique body postures:





Each child must come up with a way to get from apparatus to apparatus without walking.  While many chose skipping, galloping, or hopping, Madeleine's choice was cartwheels.  Apparently she decided that cartwheeling is the best way to get from here to there even outside of the P.E. room, because she decided to cartwheel herself along the sidewalk on our way home from school.  Like, the whole way home.  I guess cartwheeling is to Madeleine as galloping is to Julia.  I wonder if Madeleine thinks of an imaginary family while she's engaged in Cartwheel Time.

The American Team

Julia made a catalog for American Girls: Swim Team, with 6 brand new dolls:

Readers, meet the team that made it to New Englands Countrys, which is not to be confused with Nationals:

Katie Patterson
Nora...Uh...Bejumas???
Cameron Monty
Lindsey Rowe
Emmie Nathal
Nellie Mullins

Clearly, dolls that come with glasses or braces must be in high demand, as 4 out of the 6 swimmers have such features.

This American Team of 11-12 year old girl dolls looks ready to take on the country!

Madeleine must have been inspired to make her own American Girl team because she came up with:

The Anything Proof Girls, who apparently came into being by shooting out of an erupting volcano.  No biggie.

A New Play

In addition to being scared by her reading of "The Cursed Child," Madeleine was clearly also inspired by it's okay form.  She got to work on a new play, with the absolutely least-expected title ever:

Living the life in a  Toilet!
by Madeleine Rowe


Aww, yeah, that is TRULY living the life.  Things don't get much better than gettin' cozy down in the toilet.

Act 1.  Scene One  Mary's house kitchen

Johny: This poridge is good!
Mary: This poridge is bad.  Mary gigles.
Mary: Mum, I don't realy like this poridge.
Joy turns around.
Joy (with a sih) O.K.  That's O.K.  I'll make you pancakes.
Jake: (jaw open) How could you not like this poridge?!
Mary: My taste buds are difrent then your's.


Well, this play is off to an interesting start, but I fail to see how this is life in the toilet.  Maybe Mary's house kitchen is actually in a toilet.  Or maybe they have yet to discover how to truly live the life the right way: in the toilet.  We'll have to see.  I have to say, though: I'm intrigued by this start.  After all, it's got an exciting premise: Mary's taste buds are difrent than Jake's!  Can't wait to see what happens next!

Important Interruptions

An incomplete list of the urgent things the kids have needed to ask, tell, or show Ethan and I while we were otherwise engaged:

MADELEINE: Mommy?  I had a nightmare, and it started off as a Power Puff Girls episode, then it turned into a Mr. Peabody and Sherman episode, and it ended with this really really heavy pig that was on TOP of me.  (silent contemplation) That was the nightmare part.

JULIA: Mommy!  Can you brush my hair?

JULIA: Mommy!  You didn't brush it enough!  It's still tangled!

JULIA: I *can't* do a ponytail!  It's coming out LUMPY!  I'll NEVER be good at anything in my life!

MADELEINE: Mommy!  Is Gory a name??

JULIA: Daddy!  Come see how high I can raise one eyebrow!

MADELEINE: Mommy?  What should I do?

JULIA: Mommy?  What should I do?

MADELEINE: Mommy?  I want to do a gymnastics class where I *teach* people how to do gymnastics.

MADELEINE: Mommy?  Where should I do my gymnastics class?  At HOME, or at school?

JULIA: Mommy!  On the microwave, where it says "clock," I thought it meant a kind of FOOD called "clock," so I was like, "What's a clock??"

MADELEINE: Mommy!  Look! (pointing helplessly to a smear of toothpaste on her finger as she was getting ready to brush her teeth)

JULIA: Mommy!  Look!  (running out of the bathroom after brushing her teeth and pointing to a lock of her hair) A Susan boing-boing curl!

MADELEINE: (from behind her closed bedroom door) Mommy, oh Mommy!  I need to SHOW you something! (holding open "The Cursed Child" to show me that she had reached Part 4, beaming proudly)

MADELEINE: (from behind her closed bedroom door) Mommy!  I need to TELL you something!  (pointing to "The Cursed Child" and beaming proudly) I read the word "apprehensively!"

MADELEINE: (from behind her closed bedroom door) Mommy??  (pointing to "The Cursed Child") What's a "REEKIE" train??


It's kind of no wonder that I feel like I never get anything done throughout the day.