Madeleine, the Picture of Compassion

Auntie Caitlyn came over for a sleepover a few nights ago, much to the delight of her nieces.  In fact, Madeleine was so excited to have her auntie here that she completely shunned both her parents and asked for Auntie Caitlyn to put her to bed.  And just the bed-putting clearly wasn't enough.  After stories, a song, and some snuggles, plus some extra minutes of chatter, Auntie Caitlyn had to leave to go pick up Auntie Shannon, who had missed the last bus of the day on her way home from work.

All seemed well enough at first, but after about fifteen minutes, Madeleine came out of her bedroom calling, "Caaaaaitlyn?"

ME: Honey, Auntie Caitlyn isn't here.  Come on, let's go back to your bed.  (Walking Madeleine into her room and climbing into bed with her.)
MADELEINE: But where IS she?
ME: She had to go pick up Auntie Shannon from the train station.  Do you want some Mommy snuggles?
MADELEINE: No.
ME: How about I get Daddy and he can snuggle you?
MADELEINE: No thanks.  I just want Auntie Caitlyn.
ME: Well, honey, she's not here.
MADELEINE: But why did she have to go pick up Shannon?
ME: Well, Auntie Shannon missed the bus, and there are no more buses running tonight, so she would be stuck at the station all night if she didn't get a ride home.
MADELEINE: But why can't she just WALK home?
ME: Because she's not at the train station Daddy goes to.  She's in a different town, at the T.  It's too far of a walk from there.

I thought that had settled the question, and Madeleine lay still in calm, contemplative silence for some time.  Then:

MADELEINE: But Mama?  Why can't Shannon just SLEEP there?
ME: Honey, she's just sitting outside the station.  She can't just sleep on the sidewalk all night long.  That wouldn't be comfortable.
MADELEINE: (silent, thoughtful) Well Mama.  She could buy a PILLOW.

I mean, is this kid just BURSTING with empathy and compassion?  Sorry you missed the final bus, Shannon.  But tough luck.  Buy yourself a pillow so you have a soft spot to rest your head while you lay on the sidewalk in a city that you don't live in.  You gotta understand that Madeleine simply can't sleep in her warm, cozy bed, inside our warm, cozy house, without Auntie Caitlyn snuggling her.  See ya in the morning!

Dreams

This morning, upon waking, Madeleine walked into the bathroom and waved amiably at me as I was putting in my contact lenses.

ME: Hi, sweetheart.
MADELEINE: Mama.  I was in a DREAM again.
ME: You were?  What were you just dreaming about?
MADELEINE: I was at school, and Mrs. L was giving me a CHALLENGE.
ME: Oh, wow.
MADELEINE: Yeah.  And Mama.  The challenge was: (breaking into song) Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the mooooon....


Clearly, Madeleine's recollection of her dream made just about as much sense as the dream itself.

At least this dream was a happy one.  A few nights ago, Madeleine came into my bedroom after being "in a dream," this one a nightmare.

MADELEINE: Can I sleep in here?
ME: Why?  What happened?
MADELEINE: I had a bad dream.
ME: Oh no!  What did you dream about?
MADELEINE: I had a dream that there were zombie koopa troopas, and they were coming out of the tv, and they were REAL.

Yes indeed, our Super Mario Brothers Wii game is now causing nightmares.  What next?? 

Ling And Ting Get the Pink Flu

Madeleine has been enjoying some books from the "Ling and Ting" series.  This series is about twin girls whose personalities are as different as their looks are the same.  The only way to tell the girls apart by looks is by their haircuts; Ting accidentally sneezed while the barber was cutting her bangs, leaving her with a hacked piece of hair on her forehead:

Last night, Madeleine decided to make her OWN Ling and Ting book:

"The Two Pink Sisters"

MADELEINE: Mama?  I didn't know how to spell "pink" or "sisters," and I didn't really FEEL like kindergarten spelling.

Because Madeleine didn't feel like kindergarten spelling, the book is wordless, so I had the author narrate each page to me this morning.

MADELEINE: "Dun dun da-duuuuun!" That's all there is on the castle.
ME: Okay.  So it's like music?
MADELEINE: Uh-huh.
ME: Spooky music?
MADELEINE: No!  GREAT music.

MADELEINE: (coughing sound) "Um, Ting, can you help me walk?"  "I could, if you were out of the WAY." (coughing sound) "Achoo!" "Are you okay, Ting?"  "Yeah, I'm okay.  Just pink flu."

MADELEINE: "Hey, we don't have pink flu anymore!"  (singing) "Hooray, we don't have pink flu, anymore, oh-oh-ore!  Hooray, we don't have pink flu anymore!"

MADELEINE: There's not much.  It's just "tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut."
ME: Why is that the sound?
MADELEINE: Of scissors!
ME: Oh.  What are they cutting?
MADELEINE: Ting's HAIR!  And...look how LONG Ting's hair grew!

MADELEINE: So, like, they look SO crazy that they're, like, (making facial expressions of anxiety) Because...it MIGHT look good.  I think it does.  But not for LING.  So, you can just be like, "Hmmm?!?"  And then (clicking her tongue.)
ME: What was the click?
MADELEINE: Ting's BLINKING sound.

MADELEINE: They're upside down looking at the APPLE TREE.  (thoughtful) I'll have to DRAW that.  Wait.  How about...we make it invisible?

MADELEINE: "Ting!  I picked TWO apples!  Just for us!"  "Great.  Hand me it."  "Now?"  "Of course!  I love apples!"  "Okay, here you go.  But: don't forget to eat it after dinner, for dessert!"

MADELEINE: "write write write write write write write write write write write."

MADELEINE: "Oh, Ting, look!"  "I see! I'm looking!"
ME: What did Ling write?
MADELEINE: She wrote a book!  (thoughtful) I can't DECIDE what she wrote.  It's in CURSIVE.  It's how the My Little Ponies write messages.

MADELEINE: "Waaaah waaaah waaah waaaaah!"
ME: Why are they crying?
MADELEINE: Because they HATE broccoli, but...Ling LOVES broccoli.

MADELEINE: "Goo-goo ga-ga!"
ME: They're babies?!?
MADELEINE: Mmm-hmmm!  On the last two pages, they're babies.
ME: How did they become babies?
MADELEINE: I just wanted a baby one.


Woah.  What a book!  I love the regression back into infancy at the end of the book.  It's gotta be symbolic of something, right?  I can't wait to spend more time analyzing the deeper metaphorical meanings of "The To Pink Sisters"!

Julia Explains

The completed math worksheet that Julia came home with after school yesterday was a series of word problems.  I particularly enjoyed reading her reasoning behind the answer to this problem:

Gabe goes to the library every 4 days.  He went on the 4th day of the year.  Will he go to the library on the 365th day of the year?  "No."

How did you find the answer?
"I thought well if it's the 4th day, pretend that it was the 364th day so if that was the fourth day he would not go."

I mean, has clearer logic ever been expressed so eloquently??

Speaking of eloquence, Julia was a non-stop chatter machine on the way to school today.  As we walked along, she spoke poetically of the various lunches offered by the school cafeteria, the lunches she had opted not to buy and then regretted, and the decor that the cafeteria workers put up for various seasons and holidays.  Ultimately, she expressed her appreciation for the way the whole cafeteria system is run:

JULIA: Mom?  The thing that I really LIKE about the school lunches is that they always give you CHOICES; for example, when they have pudding, they have chocolate pudding, vanilla pudding, chocolate pudding with whipped cream, and vanilla pudding with whipped cream.

Yup, this kid can give a convincing and articulate explanation of what makes the school lunch system a positive one, but can only answer a math word problem by talking in circles. 

But at least she is actually using her second grade math skills during her regular daily actions, even if her telling me about them delays MY regular daily actions. 

This morning, as I attempted to get into the shower, the girls got into an argument over who would get to eat the only remaining bagel.  After Madeleine cried in her room about it and Julia acknowledged that it was actually Madeleine's turn to get the last bagel standing, Julia then caused me to run, mid-undressing, out of my bedroom when she suddenly screamed.  I discovered that she had filled her cereal bowl not ONLY to the brim, but actually had Trix overflowing all over the counter and floor.  Once I had helped cleaned up that debacle, I went into the bathroom and was about to turn on the shower when:

JULIA: Mommy?  I used MATH this morning when I was reading my "Little House" book!
ME: Oh, great! (putting my hand on the handle to turn on the water)
JULIA: Yeah.  So Mom?
ME: (taking my hand off) Yes?
JULIA: Yeah.  So.  I thought, if Laura is SEVEN, well, I added TEN to the year she was born and subtracted THREE, and then I knew what year it was.
ME: Great! (reaching out to turn on the water)
JULIA: Yeah, and Mom?
ME: (taking my hand off the water handle) Yes?
JULIA: Well, I thought, if Mary is two years OLDER, I subtracted two to figure out what year SHE was born.
ME: Good job! (readying myself to turn on the water yet again, only to be foiled)
JULIA: Yeah.  And then I added FOUR, because her other sister is FOUR years younger than she is, so I figured out what year everybody was BORN!
ME: Good work figuring that all out!

So, after the crying, the Trix spilling, and the math lesson, I was finally able to take my shower and get a move on the morning.

Speaking of crying, on the topic of things Madeleine cried about (but really shouldn't have), this happened yesterday:

MADELEINE: Mama?  I wanna be a cheerleader when I grow up, but I don't know how to do a cartwheel, and (eyes welling with tears) I think cheerleaders have to knooooow how to dooooo a caaaaaartwheeeeel!

I guess her future career is doomed.

More Kindergarten Spelling from Madeleine

Madeleine came home with a page of "kindergarten spelling" from preschool yesterday.  Some of the words she wrote have to do with her school day, and some are completely random. 

How much can you decipher?

For a translation, see below...





*SPOILER TRANSLATION ALERT*

Gases = glasses
Joos = juice
Jarivvr = driver
Boks = books
Cooe = cookie
Trce = turkey (NOT trace, as I had mistakenly, foot-in-mouthedly, guessed)
Joos = juice.  Again.
Snaak = snack
Habrgr = hamburger


Okay, grade yourselves honestly.  How did everyone do?

Madeleine at the Pool Deck

Last night, while Julia had swim team practice, Madeleine and I hung out in the spectator area.  Madeleine had brought her "Frozen" figurines to play with while we were there.  They entertained her for about half of the hour-long practice, then were dismissed and put into my purse.  Next thing I knew, Madeleine had decided it was high time I put a lid on my book-reading.

MADELEINE: (grabbing my bookmark and shoving it onto the page I was reading) Uh, Mama, let me show you how to be DONE reading.
ME: Oh.  Why? 
MADELEINE: Because.  See the bookmark?  That means you're DONE on this page!
ME: Do you want me to be done reading?
MADELEINE: Uh-huh!  Because I want you to PLAY with me!
ME: What do you want to play?

I mean, need I have even asked??

So I engaged in a pretend-play game of Power Puff Girls, and despite the other adults in the vicinity, I boldly delivered my lines, lay supine on benches awaiting rescue, and referred to my daughter as Bubbles.

Were my efforts appreciated?

MADELEINE: Uh, Mama, uh...I think Julia is BETTER at playing Power Puff Girls than you are, so maybe I should just wait for Julia.
ME: Oh.  Why is Julia so good at Power Puff Girls?
MADELEINE: Uh, because she says the RIGHT stuff.
ME: Okay.  So do you want to play by yourself right now?
MADELEINE: Yeah.  I'm playing "Power Puff Girls Captain Jack Sparrow!"
ME: Boy, you sure love Captain Jack Sparrow, huh?
MADELEINE: Mama.  Of COURSE I do.  I have a CRUSH on Captain Jack Sparrow!
ME: You do?  Are you going to marry him?
MADELEINE: (appalled at my suggestion) NO!
ME: Oh.  Why not?
MADELEINE: Because.  Mama.  I can't marry Captain Jack Sparrow.  I don't know WHO I'm gonna marry, because I don't know who's ALREADY married.  But...I can marry one of my FRIENDS!
ME: That's a good idea.  Which friend are you gonna marry?
MADELEINE: (thoughtful) Maybe Abby.
ME: Oh yeah?  Why?
MADELEINE: Mmm...I just think she'd be a really good MOM.


Well, Madeleine has come a long way from wanting to marry Julia.  She is clearly using logic to determine a good, and available, partner.  She now has the smarts to a) avoid polygamy, and b) assess her future spouse's ability to care for children as part of her criteria.  So for the time being, Johnny Depp is off the table, though given the rate at which celebrity couples divorce, chances are he could me a single man again by the time Madeleine is ready to walk down the aisle!

Mothers Day in the Rowe Household

Yesterday, Madeleine cried upon learning that Julia had made me a whopping TWO gifts for Mothers Day.

ME: Madeleine, honey, you don't need to cry.
MADELEINE: (sobbing) Yes I DOOOOO, because I don't have enough presents for you for MOTHERS DAAAAAAY!  I only have ONE, and Julia has TWOOOOO!

While it's true that Madeleine cries over just about anything, this one was definitely legit, because everyone knows that Mothers Day is ALL ABOUT MADELEINE, right?

So Ethan took Madeleine out with him to run errands and pick up a special something for me for Mothers Day.  They were super-stealth about it and fit the trip in between grocery shopping and a run to the town dump, so there was mystery surrounding where they might have gone to get my gift. 

That is, until Madeleine decided to accidentally spill the beans.  As I went out to our back deck, book in hand, to enjoy the sunny afternoon, Madeleine was suddenly alarmed enough to stop her solo pretend-play of "Power Puff Girls."

MADELEINE: (running up to me) Uh, Mama?  Can I see your book for a second?  (examining the cover) Okay, GOOD.  I was afraid it might be the same book that I got you for Mothers Day.

Wait.  Should I go out on a ledge and guess that Madeleine got me a book??

I guess that she made a smart choice, however, seeing as, according to Ethan, the first two ideas she had for a gift were nail polish and a Barbie doll.

This morning, when I woke up, I discovered my wrapped gifts on the table, awaiting opening.  The girls were downstairs watching a show, so Ethan called down to them to let them know I was awake.

JULIA: Madeleine, pause the show!
MADELEINE: Wait, Julia, what are we going upstairs for?  Milk?
JULIA: No, MOMMY!

As usual, Madeleine always knows what's what.

I sat down at the table to open my cards and presents. 

Julia, who does not read cards all the way through before buying them (one might remember the Valentines Day card she got for Ethan that references all the things that are great about him, including "the sexy thing"), had gotten me this lovely card:

Outside cover: "I'm not sure how I got lucky enough to have someone so special in my life"

Inside message: "thanks for being just like a mom to me."

Once again, Julia absolutely nailed it with her choice of card.


I was also the very lucky recipient of a brand new book, written by Julia! 

Tara and Ahdara's Mothers Day Gift
Julia Rowe

For Mom - happy Mothers Day!

"It was almost Mothers Day.  Tara and Ahdara had to find the perfect gift for there mother.  'I have an idea!  Lets go to the store!' Tara suggegeted.  'Ok,' agreed Ahdara.  And they went and there they found the perfect gift."

Okay, if these pictures are to scale, I totally want one of those life-sized coffee mugs, because that's just about the amount of coffee I need to get through each day.

 "So Tara and Ahdara paid for the mug and went home.  'Do you think that Mom'lle like our presants?' Tara asked ancaisly.  'Oh yes!  The lady at the store said it was a mans best friend.' Ahdara replied.  So they wrapted the presant."

Wait.  A man's best friend?  Did Tara and Ahdara ditch the mug idea and get their mom a dog?!?  I would feel ancais too, if I had made the executive decision to get my mother a dog.  But wait.  The long-fingered Gumby hands are definitely paying for a purple mug, right?  And dang it, it looks much smaller than it was on the previous page.

 "At dinner the girls were quiet.  They didn't want there surprise to be spoiled.  That night at bed, Ahdara looked down at Tara.  She grinned hapily."

 Way to keep a secret, girls!  Madeleine should totally take a lesson from you.

"Tara flung herself on Ahdara.  'Oh Ahdara, wake up!  Its Mothers day!'  The girls ran downstairs.  'DAD!' Ahdara shouted.  'We need you to make pancakes!'  'OK!"

Speaking from experience, their mommy probably didn't appreciate the shouting, as every mother wants MOST OF ALL to sleep in on mothers day.  Or any day.  Really, any chance for sleep is welcome.

"Girls, I'm ready to open my presant!' there Mom called.  There Mom tore open the wrapping paper.  And out came - a mug!"

I think Julia forgot to write the part where Ahdara says "Tara, pause the show!" and Tara says "What are we going upstairs for, milk?" 

"And a letter came with it.  Dear Mom, we hope you like this mug!  XOXOXO.  Love, Ahdara and Tara.  Well folks - Ahdara and Tara's presant was huge success.  I need some coffee."


I couldn't have spoken truer words myself than the last sentence.

I also received real, published books (surprise, surprise!) from Madeleine and Ethan, as well as several fancy wines from the latter.  Because Ethan knows that the only drink a mommy needs as much as coffee is wine.

To top it all off, Madeleine made me a card and spelled the words inside all by herself!:

I love it!  Thanks, Mads.  I'm pretty sure with kids like these I'm definitely going to have a Hab Mthes Da!